Amazing grace

Depression...I can get easily depressed these days..very annoying. Yesterday was my major one. Tired with my daily life, tired with all the society pressures, tired with this and that. Even I'm tired of myself for being so depressed. Yesterday, I can understand the movie "into the wild", yesterday I felt that I wanna do something similar, to just escape the world, telling them to leave me alone....And yesterday, I also had to prepare for leading the bible study today. To be honest, I didn't have the heart to prepare it. I was actually annoyed by it. How can I lead a bible study if me myself is still feeling so distant from Him?!....So with a very heavy heart, I opened my bible....ok...I'm gonna choose the shortest verses...Found it..Matthew 5:13-16...awesome, so short. It is about becoming salt and light of the world. Did my quick research online about it, then continued watching the big bang theory. Had a short and lazy discussion with my special someone about this bible study and told him lazily, just pray for me and he did.

This morning, feeling "responsible", I also prayed for the bible study that by God's miracle, it will be ok. The whole day still feeling so dragging to lead the bible study. But that voice at the back of my head saying, you promised to lead, u have the responsibility. So I texted my sis in Christ to confirm the bible study. After talking to her briefly, I felt a bit more motivated about the bible study. Only after I finished what I had to do today, around 5.30 pm (one hour b4 bible study), I had this drive to really prepare it properly. And I did a hardout research about Matthew 5:13-16. It was an amazing one hour. I had a sudden excitement, motivation to share these verses. Suddenly I couldn't wait for the bible study.

Then 6.30 comes, it wasn't that many people, just the five of us, didn't even have a guitar for the praise and worship. I was doing alright, but for sometime I lost it and got nervous, didn't know what to talk about. But Praise God and wonderful supports from the members, we managed to have a good discussion. Not only good, it was awesome. It was amazing. His Holy Spirit was really there, guiding us, discussing with us. To become the salt of the world. To be different. To give flavour to someone's life. To preserve in the society. To heal the infection. To become the light of the world. To shine in the darkness. To show the way out from the darkness. To do good deeds for the glory of God.

I felt so renewed, so reminded and amazed by His glory and overflowing love. Life has a purpose. All the worries that I have about the future are so meaningless. This place is not where I come from, this is just a temporary place where I have been give the chance to glorify His name. So it doesn't matter anymore where I am or who I am with. It is all about becoming the salt and light of the world. It's an amazing purpose that gives a peaceful feeling beyond what anyone can imagine.